Smack Down!!!!

I was involved in a contest of wit with a former college cheerleader a while back, and found out I was unarmed.

In order to not embarrass the young lass, let's just call her “Jessica”, okay?

So anyway, one night at the fire station I'm hanging out with a buddy of mine, Dan, who comes into town once in a while to run the ambulance with me. Dan is a terrific guy, very smart and a most capable EMS provider. He also has a wicked sense of humor. So wicked in fact that when the crew Captain makes up the duty roster, if Dan and I are running together the Captain sends out an email warning the rest of the crew. I am not making this up.

So, there I was trading jokes with Dan when a relatively new member of our crew, the former college cheerleader, wanders over and encroaches upon the volunteer fire department comedy channel. She starts complaining about how difficult it is to have a boy friend because boys mature SO much slower than girls. Dan and I, in sync and with no need of rehearsal, start saying "Oh yeah, they sure do!! SNORT! SNORT!! SNORT!!!!”

Basically making complete asses of ourselves, because, you know, we're BOYS!

Besides, to be fair to Dan and me, Jessica WAS warned.

Anyway, as Dan and I are snorting away Jessica rolls her eyes like a typical mature girl and walks away.

Shortly after that the former college cheerleader wanders back, probably because of Dan and my magnetic personalities.

She continues her lament and then says something that triggers my response of "Well ... you know ... boys DO mature slower than girls.", which I thought was incredibly witty. Dan and I prepare to begin our famous snorting routine once again when we are ambushed by Jessica as she opens her eyes wide, stares at me and says in a slightly brittle tone of voice (If I do say so myself):

"YEAH?!? WELL YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!".

Ouch.

Body slam.

Cheerleader - 1

Seasoned EMS provider - 0

Attached is a picture of the former college cheerleader. We had just run two calls, one including a difficult extrication from a car wreck. It was near midnight and we still had six hours of shift left. We are all tired with bags under our eyes.

She doesn't look like a perky college cheerleader NOW, does she?!?

So there.

I know that’s probably petty of me, but then again I’m a boy.