Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Safety first!




Safety at the fire department is our number one concern. Ours, and then yours. We don't want anyone to need our services, but if they do need them then we don't want to be injured as a result of providing said service. We have day jobs to go to and don't want to interrupt our vocation for our avocation. Plus, injuries usually cause pain which takes some of the fun out of volunteering.

Having said that, I hope you will forgive me for being a little preachy. Please always remember to:
  • turn the iron off before leaving home
  • fasten your seat belt
  • firmly clasp the hand rails if you must stand while utilizing public transportation.
For example, take a look at the picture. Do you see how the provided hand rail is being tightly clenched? Notice the secure hold? The beautiful stance, leaning back against a firm base?

I'm really impressed with that old guy. He looks like a seasoned traveler.

I'll bet riding a subway doesn't get any better than that.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Injury from an ass


At the fire station we have monitors hanging from the walls that alert us to an urgent situation. The monitor will inform us of the nature of the emergency, location and other pertinent information.

In the old days some of the codes used were pretty clever. For example
  • "OTIS" meant elevator entrapment.
  • "MRED" meant an injury due to a fall from a horse. (think about it)
Come on! You have to have some fun with fire and rescue.

Then, sadly, we became sophisticated and our clever codes were replaced by other less descriptive, meaningless numeric codes.

However, abbreviations ARE used as part of the description of the emergency and as it turns out, sometime said abbreviations are a more accurate, and clever, description of the event than spelling out the whole word. Take for example "Injury due to an assault". Why not just tell it like it is? "Injury due to an ass" as shown on the attached picture.

Seems fitting to me.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Houston, we have a problem.



Remember Evel Knievel and the Snake River Canyon jump?

What a wimp.

What Evel should have done was to have an in ground pool installed in his back yard, like we did. You want to see a jump? I'LL show you a jump.

Since the pool was in ground, a lot of that ground had to be removed from the earth and piled up here and there. As it turns out, the "there" pile was pretty cool. High, maybe four feet or more and rather steep. Living on a fifteen acre mini-farm at the time, we, the boys and I, had dirt bikes to ride around the field and annoy the neighbors race horses.

It's the Graham Family rule of thumb that if there's going to be bad neighbor in the neighborhood then let it be us.

Anyway, one day the combination of a steep pile of dirt AND a dirt bike caught our attention. Call us rocket scientists if you must. The challenge facing us was: could we ride the dirt bike up and over this steep mount of dirt? Since we're guys, we also made it into a game. If the boys had been older we probably would have made it into a drinking game. Now that they are older and telling us what was really going on in their post-formative teen years, I don't doubt that it DID become a drinking game, once the game was over and they no longer had their old man around.

Okay, the game is on. Which one of us could make it up and over the steep dirt pile first? Two talented riders or me?

Ross the Younger went first. Going at a very modest speed, employing skill and balance, he approached the dirt hill and went up and over like it was a small speed bump in the road. Not a wobble, no speeding and no drama.

Huh.

I thought this would be tougher than that.

Jim the Elder went second. Same thing. Up .... and over. Boom. Done. Actually a bit of a let down.

So, the guys turn to watch me, the hope of failure in their eyes. They know I lack skill, but frankly this tiny bump of dirt just wasn't what we thought it would be.

I start towards the hill, about the same speed as the first two riders. I hit the hill and stop dead. I don't remember if I fell over but if I did it probably looked like that guy on "Laugh In" on his trike. Thud ... plop.

Okay, obviously I just wasn't doing it right. How hard can this be?!?

I go back to GO and start over again, maybe a little faster because obviously that was the problem.

THUD ... PLOP.

What th'!!

It becomes obvious to all us guys that if the boys were older I'd be the one buying the beer. Manhood is at risk. My testosterone level falls. I'm going thud ... plop in front of my two teenage sons here! I'm the head of household!! YOU CAN'T SHOW WEAKNESS!

Speed is the answer. Why didn't I think of that before?? Everyone knows that if you lack skill you can make up for it by twisting the throttle a little bit more. Maybe a lot more.

Starting at GO, again, I hit the throttle hard enough to put at risk Don Garlits' drag racing trophies. No need to shift here, just focus on punching the wall of the Grand Canyon and it's up and over!

I made it half way.

I didn't go over, but I did go up.

As the front tire hit the wall of dirt it punched straight up into the air. This meant that the rear knobby tire slammed into the soft dirt, digging in just as I slid down the bike seat hanging on for dear life. By sliding down the seat I twist my throttle wrist and accidentally opening the throttle wide open.

I launch like the space shuttle.

I go up, and up, and up.....

Let's pause now for a view of these events from a different angle.

Right about now, Sue was walking out the back door of the house. She had been in the kitchen listening to dad play with the kids.

"Ross, that looked too easy"

"Jim, that looked way to easy"

"Okay, watch this (Vern), I'll bet more speed will do the trick!"

So Sue comes out to see her family playing together. It's a mother's moment. As she steps out the back door, and I am not making this up, she sees me launch ABOVE the roof of the shed behind the house and just keep going up, and up, and up ....

She's a little taken aback.

Actually so were the boys and that was getting harder to do.

I, on the other hand, am shooting up so high that the earth starts to pull away like you see on the NASA films.

NOW you can call me a rocket scientist.

It was like an out of body experience, looking down at the earth, except I was still in my body and, from my new heightened view, I realize that the dirt pile was surrounded by BIG rocks and boulders that had been dug out of the ground.

Ah ... nuts. Experience tells me that this is going to hurt.

It looks to me, from my vantage point, that I was going to hit one of the boulders when I returned from space, sans parachute. Survival instinct kicks in and I:
  • Kick the bike away from me. I do NOT want that bike landing under or on me.
  • Start to flap my arms in preparation for a landing.
I'm not proud of that last one, but it actually worked. Ask Sue. She sees me reach the apogee, kick the bike away and start to flap and hover.

Come to think of it, I actually am proud of my flapping arms, since it worked. Honest. I managed to maneuver between two big rocks and land on my back on the soft(er) dirt.

Whoomp!

I'm lying there on my back counting bones to make sure the count didn't end in an odd number when above me appears the face of an incredulous angel. It's my wife looking down on me (take that to mean whatever you wish) and she asks "Are you all right?!?!?".

I can't tell if she's concerned or angry, so I'm not sure how to respond. Testing the waters (after I got to an even 206 on the bone count) I said "I'm not sure". I WAS being honest with her. Sort of. This could go either way. I could have said sure, I'm fine, and she would have smacked the snot out of me. Or, I could have said I think I'm injured, and then I'd have to fake it for a few days.

It looked like she calmed down a little bit so I got up and just limped around a little to retest the spousal waters. Okay, the coast was clear.

Then the bad news DID hit me. I still hadn't made it up and over that dirt pile! Plus, I sort of bent the kids new dirt bike.

Not a good day for us rocket scientists.

I figured that riding a dirt bike was a little too risky for me, so I just stuck with my road bike.

There may be crazy car drivers out there on the road, but there are FAR fewer man eating boulders.

Smishing with the family


“In computing, Smishing is a form of criminal activity using social engineering techniques similar to phishing. The name is derived from "SMs phISHING". SMS (Short Message Service) is the technology used for text messages on cell phones.

Similar to phishing, smishing uses cell phone text messages to deliver the "bait" to get you to divulge your personal information. The "hook" (the method used to actually "capture" your information) in the text message may be a web site URL, however it has become more common to see a phone number that connects to automated voice response system.”

Wikipedia

______________________________________

Sue and I are enjoying a nice long visit with our kids and their kids. We were celebrating birthday number two with the great-grandson. Eventually a bunch of us are sitting around the table, just catching up on the family business.

At this point in the story I’ll change some of the names here so as to not embarrass the guilty since I love my daughters-in-law .... and they schedule the visitation rights with the grandkids.

I’m sitting with Sue, our youngest son (Ross), his wife (Red), our other daughter-in-law (Laverne), our 11 year old granddaughter (Sara), our oldest son (Jim).

Part of the way through the conversation I notice that Laverne seems to be texting with someone. Wanting to be friendly, while carrying on a conversation with my wife and Ross, I slip my phone under the table and text “Hi!” to Laverne. She’ll see it’s from me and sneer at me across the table. I know this because she loves me and sneers at me a lot.

Bing! Goes her phone.

She reads my text, gets a confused look on her face and says “Someone just texted “Hi!” to me and I don’t recognize the phone number.

Huh. She doesn’t have me in her phone. Close family here.

Red says, in an urgent voice “Don’t respond! They’re just after your social security number!!!!”.

Huh? Wait!

And the bobber tickles the smooth water like a feather.

The two of them start talking about smishing and how the bad guys try to get your financial information.

But it’s just me!

So, trying to be helpful, I text Laverne “What is your social security number?”.

Bing! Goes her phone.

Laverne says “Now he wants to know my social security number!”.

“See?!?!?!?” says Red.

And the bobber goes all the way under water!

More smishing conversation ensues.

I’m getting a real kick out of this, just listening into today’s conspiracy theory.

As my beautiful, and very intelligent daughters-in-law (visitation rights! visitation rights!) continue the discussion I figure at some point they have to recognize that the texts are coming from someone sitting at the table. Gee, I wonder who that could be?

Wanting to give them a hint, I text Laverne “Do you love me?”.

Bing!

Laverne holds up her phone and says “Now he wants to know if I love him!”.

And the bobber disappears from sight with a strong tug on the line!!

This brings her husband, my oldest son, into the conversation. He says “Laverne, is there something you want to tell me?”. They start talking about the pervert who is texting my daughter-in-law when my son says “Well, I hope he stops texting us because it costs us money every time he does”.

Toss me an easy one why don’t you?

Bing! “How much does it cost you to text?”, Laverne reports to the table.

And the line ZINGS from the reel as the phish makes a run for it!!!

Now they examine the phone number trying to decipher the texter. “Hmmmm” they say “it’s a 703 area code. That’s Virginia! Who do we know that lives in Virginia” they ponder. And ponder. And ponder. But don’t crack the code, as Sue and her smartass husband sit there, at the same table, visiting from .... VIRGINIA!!!

Casually, in a sneaky underhanded way, our 11 year old granddaughter has cracked the code. She apparently saw me looking under the table, snuck around behind me in an underhanded way, and saw me texting. She then strolls over, in a sneaky underhanded way, to Laverne and whispers in her ear. They both look up at me, and Laverne does NOT look happy.

Busted.

And the line snaps!

Bing! Goes MY phone.

I look at the text that says “U R an asshole”.

I don’t even have to look at the sender’s name to know that Laverne has replied, and is probably sneering at me.

Phinally.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Never swat a dead alligator on the butt with a paddle.



Okay, let's not fool ourselves here. If you're reading this blog, then you probably know me. If you know me, then you already KNOW how this is going to turn out.

But let's play it out here, shall we?

Years ago my wife and I were paddling a canoe through the Okefenokee Swamp in southern Georgia. We were vacationing with my parents and somehow we just ended up there, paddling through the swamp. Them in their canoe and us in ours.

Part of the way into the swamp we came across a dead alligator washed up on the bank. (Mean) people had thrown things at the poor emaciated carcass to determine if it was dead or alive.

It was deader than a doornail.

It apparently hadn't moved when (mean) people threw the trash. Its sides were all caved in. Look at the picture. Doesn't that alligator look dead to you?

It sure looked dead to me. Who knows what killed it, but it was dead, dead, dead.

On we went, deeper into the swamp. We paddled around for hours enjoying the swamp, as much as people raised in Cleveland, Ohio could enjoy the swamp. Spanish moss hanging from the trees. Tea colored water from the tannic acid. And a few alligators. Live ones. It's always a thrill to see dinosaurs and not be watching a movie.

So, the day was long and hot and it was time to return to the campsite. Best to get to the campsite before dark. There was a one-eye eleven foot alligator named Charlie Brown that lived in the lagoon by the campsite and we wanted to beach the canoes and get into the campers before dark.

The park ranger told us that alligators NEVER attack humans, but:
  • We're from Cleveland and more doubting than the optimists from Missouri
  • Charlie Brown had eaten the warden's dog a few weeks prior to our visit
  • Charlie Brown had lost his eye while stealing fish from the boat of fishermen, who were still in the boat and one of them took Charlie's eye out with a paddle
  • Charlie Brown was eleven feet long, lived in a rough neighborhood and had a record.
This was before the days of the Internet where now you can find pictures of people who have been eaten by alligators. I wonder where that park ranger is now?

Anyway, we paddle on back to the campsite and pass the dead alligator.

Here comes the part that you knew was coming, right?

I, being me, want to get a closer look at the dead alligator. Being in the stern of the canoe and therefore steering it, I start swinging over to the alligator. My wife starts yelling that there was no way she's getting that close to an alligator, dead or alive.

My wife holds a grudge.

During an earlier outing I spotted a (live) alligator on the bank and headed towards it, my wife eighteen feet in the lead in the bow of the canoe. Just as we got close to the bank the alligator runs into the water and SWIMS UP TO THE BOW OF THE CANOE. Looks us over and swims away UNDER THE CANOE.

As I say, my wife holds a grudge and would not let me explore the dead alligator going in bow first.

Fine.

Women.

We back up to the alligator so I can get a good look.

Dead.

Not breathing, not blinking. Nada. Lights out. Not only did the elevator not go all the way up to the top, but it was broken and not running. Nobody home.

I do what any guy would do under those circumstances. I whacked the dead alligator on the butt with my paddle.

I know! I know! I can hear you yelling from here. "Don, that's crazy! That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard!! You whacked an alligator on the butt with your paddle?!? Are you that stupid?? EVERYONE knows that alligators don't have butts!!"

I know. It was more the base of the tail than a butt. But(t) whatever. I whacked it.

Lo and behold ... I BROUGHT THE ALLIGATOR BACK TO LIFE!!!

A miracle!! Yes, it was a miracle I made it out alive.

The once dead alligator, now reborn, whirled around, opened its gigantic jaws and bellowed at me.

Have you seen the commercial where the guy is sitting in the chair in front of the speakers and the speakers are so loud that they are blowing the guys hair straight back? Well, it was a lot like that except my speaker had bad breath. I'm sure my eyes were as big as saucers by then. Looking past the thousands of teeth I was pretty sure I could detect the flames of Hell flickering deep down that alligator's throat.

Survival instinct kicks in and my wife, who is eighteen feet ahead of me (in many ways), and I start paddling. And I mean PADDLING. We look like a riverboat on crack. We leave a wake. If we were in a no wake zone we would have gotten a ticket. If we had a water skier behind us I would have cut the rope as alligator bait.

Remember now, my parents are with us in their own canoe. They, safely in the middle of the river, see our desperate situation and are laughing so hard they almost tip their own canoe over. Which I figure would have bought us more time.

Anyway, the alligator, for whatever reason, did not follow us, eat us and turn us into dinosaur poop. We obviously made it back to the camp site, in record time, and had a beer. Or two.

Whew.

So, tip of the day. Never swat a dead alligator on the butt with a paddle. Dead or alive they just don't have a sense of humor.

History - stranger than fiction



The obituary of John C. Freeborn, 90 years old.


Mr. Freeborn was an RAF pilot in WWII. On September 6, 1939 he was alerted to incoming German bombers and launched his counter-attack in his Spitfire. Shooting down the enemy, Mr. Freeborn landed expecting accolades, since this made him the first British pilot to record a kill in the war. Except the plane he shot down, killing the pilot, was itself British. The deceased pilot, Pilot Officer Montague Hulton-Harrop was therefore awarded the dubious honor of being the first RAF casualty of WWII. Mr. Freeborn was court-martialed, but acquitted due to a breakdown in communications when he was sent aloft to defend his country.

Mr. Freeborn went on to a stellar career as a fighter pilot, twice receiving Britain's Distinguished Flying Cross and claiming at least a dozen (legitimate) kills.

His first legitimate kill was when he shot down a German Messerschmitt 109. As Mr. Freeborn is quoted regarding this accomplishment "I rolled, went through some cloud, and came out behind him. I gave him a squirt or two, and down he went straight into the cottage of an old farmer who was out plowing his fields. And I can still see to this day the farmer standing there shaking his fist at me.".

You can't make this stuff up.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Why we invaded Iraq.


So, the mainstream media has been asking whether or not our invasion of Iraq was worth it. I guess the question is being asked because our “combat” troops have departed Iraq and now we “just” have 50,000 troops remaining.


I’ve been thinking a lot about why we invaded Iraq, and based upon the theory I’ve developed I believe that such questioning is premature by about five decades. The effort we started in Iraq will, in my opinion, spread throughout the Middle East continuing for about fifty years or more. Therefore the answer will be finally determined long after I’m dead. I guess this is an easy theory to offer, since I won’t be around to be told I was wrong.


My theory about Iraq all started with the next war. Or, more accurately, “The Next War” the 550 page (paperback) book authored by former secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger in 1998, about ten years after he left that office. The book illustrates that one of the responsibilities of any administration is to look over the horizon and predict the next potential threat(s) to the USA. In his book Mr. Weinberger explores such interesting potential threats as:

  • Response to nuclear terrorism by Iran – Part (chapter) Two
  • War with Mexico due to violence crossing the border into the USA – Part (chapter) Three


Published in 1998. Huh.


The point here is that a worthy administration will look towards the future to prepare for potential threats. The next time you read an article in the “Washington Post”, probably on a slow news day, about the Department of Defense (shockingly) having plans to invade ______________, then you ought to say “thank you” because they damn well better be planning a response to a potential threat, even if we lowly citizens aren’t yet even aware if said threat, and may never be since said threat may not come to pass. It is the responsibility of our senior management to prepare for possible threats. I’m not saying that our senior management is always successful in looking into the crystal ball, but I’ll bet they try.


On the other hand, the terrific book “Charlie Wilson's War” by George Crile taught me that we lowly citizens really don’t know what is actually happening in the world. You’ve probably seen the movie, which was entertaining; you might even have seen the History Channel documentary, which was enlightening; but you may wish to actually read the 560 page (paperback) book and find out just how ignorant you are to world events. Such as, how many of you knew way back in the mid-1980s: Pakistan (a Muslim country) was sending Soviet tanks to Israel (a Jewish state) to beef up said tanks so that Pakistan could better protect itself against India (a Hindu country)? Raise your hand if you knew that a Muslim country was cooperating with a Jewish state, and visa versa, just so the USA could slip arms into Afghanistan to help some dirt poor, horse back riding (if they were lucky) warrior kick the ass of one of the largest, most powerful armies in the world.


I believe, then and now, we have no idea what is actually going on in the world, especially if you read the newspapers and watch news on television. By following the news we know what someone wants us to know, and for the most part we don’t know what they don’t want us to know. Read “Charlie Wilson’s War”. Bask in your ignorance. I bask in mine.


One other book demonstrated just how badly third party countries screwed up the Middle East. “A Prince of our Disorder: The Life of T.E. Lawrence” the 560 page (paperback) by John Mack explores the life of the incredible Lawrence of Arabia. The book includes maps of the Middle East before and after World War I. After WWI the Brits and the French (and I’m guessing we had a seat at the table somewhere) sat down with a map and defined the current day Middle East (sans Israel). Pop quiz: do you know why Lebanon is so closely tied to Syria? Because Lebanon used to be part of Syria (Assyria) as part of the Ottoman Empire. This before the Brits and French broke out their brand new Crayola crayons and drew the new and improved Middle East map, at the same time creating the Kingdom of Saud out of sand.


And there in lies the issue (finally!).


The reason we invaded Iraq is because:

· I think that Saudi Arabia is or will become a world threat.

· I think that attacking Saudi Arabia to eliminate the threat would be politically tacky.

· I think that it was more politically acceptable to invade Iraq, run by a bad guy, to reduce the threat from Saudi Arabia.

· I think that 9/11 changed the psyche of the USA, forever.


I think we invaded Iraq because Saudi Arabia poses an over the horizon threat to not only the USA, but the world economy as a whole.


And apparently General Hugh Shelton agrees with me. How about that? General Shelton was Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_Shelton ) and in a recent lecture credited Saudi Arabia, as well as other countries, as a potential threat to the USA. Not a military threat, but rather because Saudi Arabia is a most critical supplier of world oil, any upheaval in that kingdom could create havoc in the entire Middle East, and therefore the world.


Saudi Arabia, sometimes know as a Family with a Flag, is a monarchy. The royal family consists of about 7,000 members. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Saud


It is generally acknowledged that the Middle East’s known oil reserves account for over half of the know world reserves. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oil_reserves and Saudi Arabian reserves count for almost one third of the world supply.


One third of the world supply of oil all in the hands of a family with a flag.


Saudi Arabia holds first place in OPEC oil reserves, Iran and Iraq trade second and third place depending upon who you believe, but each with about half of the Saudi Arabian reserves, alone. Remember that. Iran and Iraq combined almost total that of the Saudi Arabian reserves


http://www.eia.doe.gov/emeu/international/reserves.html


The question is, how great is the risk that the Saudi Arabian royal family might be displaced, or at least their oil enterprise disrupted? We may have found that out if Saddam Hussein hadn’t stopped to pick his nose after invading Kuwait, giving us time to ship war fighters and supplies to Saudi Arabia to kick the bad guy out of Kuwait. Another part of the answer to that question is just how financially stable is the monarchy?


Below is an excerpt from a study by the Kogod School of Business titled “Center for Information Technology and the Global Economy”. A friend of mine received his Masters degree in Finance from the school and he tells me that the Kogod School of Business is the Business school of American University in Washington, DC. They are one of the highest ranked business schools in the country. The study states:

Saudi Arabian financials:

Saudi Arabia has seen higher deficits over the years. Economic growth has been volatile. According to the Consulting Center for Finance and Investment (CCFI), Economic and Investment Research Division of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, the Budget 2003 advocates a spending of SR 209 billion bringing the deficit of SR 39 billion or 5.6% of the current GDP (SR 695 billion).9 Paris projects its 2003 deficit at 3.4% of GDP, which breaches the European Union’s 3% limit.10 According to the Wall Street Journal, May 7, 2003, this is expected to draw a formal warning from the EU and possible sanctions later as the commission can fine serial budget offenders. Both France and Germany, the Euro zone’s two largest economies, have deficits above the 3% ceiling. Saudi Arabia’s budget is 5.6% of the GDP and although it does not face economic sanctions, this is not a positive economic indicator and is cause for concern. Saudi Arabia spends 60% on Human Resource and Defense and Security expenditures. Steps needed to be taken to reduce the dependence on oil, which stands in the range of 75-80% of the total revenue, increase the capital expenditure and reduce the current expenditure, which attributes to the accumulation of debt.11 Saudi Arabia’s economic problems could deepen should the US seize oil fields after the war prompting a sustained decline in oil prices that would throw the Saudi economy into a tailspin. The per capita income now at $8,000 has shrunk about two-thirds since the late 1970s. The budget deficit is projected at 5.6% this year, and national debt is about equal to annual gross domestic product.

Unemployment among Saudis exceeds 10% and is growing; contrast this to the US. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics of the US Department of Labor, US unemployment rose in April, 2003 to 6%. The foreign work force continues to grow in Saudi Arabia leading to high public debt and is hurting Saudi citizens seeking employment. Saad al Zahrani, a professor at Umm al Qura University in Mecca, says even graduates from high-demand departments such as medicine have to wait months for job openings. Ordinary Saudis, he says, are ready to take any job, for as little as 1,000 riyals ($270) a month.


If I haven’t bored you to death yet, the entire report may be found at:


http://www1.american.edu/academic.depts/ksb/citge/Saudi_Arabia_Financial_sector.doc


The point is that Saudi Arabia has an economy that goes up and down with oil prices, sometime radically. Additionally, according to an article in “US News and World Report” about ten years ago (can’t find the link, sorry), at that time Saudi Arabia had invested $80 billion in exporting Wahhabism all over the world. Wahhabism is considered to be a very conservative and even radical form of Islam.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wahhabi


Why would they do that? Well, I would say that some members of the royal family, very wealthy members of the royal family, want to promote Wahhabism around the world. I would also say it is a possibility that some members of the royal family made a deal with the devil and agreed to fund Wahhabism as long as the extremists would not bite the hand that fed them and attack Saudi Arabia itself. That may not have worked out as planned.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_militant_incidents_in_Saudi_Arabia


So, we have a family with a flag that is financially oil dependent and some family members prefer a very conservative, radical form of Islam, and whose kingdom is experiencing a stubborn form of internal terrorism.


Add to this the increasing tension around Iran and the issue of the Straits of Hormuz, a strangle point for shipping Saudi Arabian oil


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strait_of_Hormuz


and we have a less than stable environment for a country that accounts for one third of the world’s oil reserves. What comes to mind is that if Saudi Arabia sneezes the rest of the world catches a cold. Probably pneumonia.


And then we are attacked by radical Muslims on 9/11/2001.


Before you get your panties in a bunch by saying that Saddam Hussein did not attack us, I agree with you. The point is that we were attacked by radical Muslims on 9/11 and fifteen of the nineteen highjackers were from Saudi Arabia, a kingdom who is experiencing financial challenges and is facing increasing risk from internal terror attacks.


Pop quiz: who was the first president of the United States to face the issue of radical Muslims?

http://middleeast.about.com/od/usmideastpolicy/a/barbary-pirates-timeline.htm


If an administration is looking into their crystal ball they may see disruption in the world’s oil supply. Substantial disruption in the world’s oil supply could wreak havoc on the world economy. Look at the impact OPEC had on the US in 1973 just by snugging up the spigot. Can you imagine what would happen if the royal family crumbles and succumbs to radical Islam?


Saddam Hussein, the guy who had earlier invaded Kuwait and was looking south towards Saudi Arabia at the time, was still in power and could still be considered a regional risk.


We also had that trouble with weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Nope, sit back down and listen up. I know we haven’t found them post invasion but if you think that Hussein did not have them you have a short memory. Hussein, continually irritated with the Kurds was at one time seeking ways of alleviating that irritant. Before WWI the Kurds happily lived in Kurdistan. But the post WWI crayon cut them in half placing half of them in Turkey and half in Iraq. They’ve been irritated about that every since.


In the 16th century, after prolonged wars, Kurdish-inhabited areas were split between the Safavid and Ottoman empires. A major division of Kurdistan occurred in the aftermath of the Battle of Chaldiran in 1514, and was formalized in the 1639 Treaty of Zuhab.[33] Prior to World War I, most Kurds lived within the boundaries of the Ottoman Empire in the province of Kurdistan.[citation needed]. After the collapse of the Ottoman Empire, the Allies contrived to create several countries within its former boundaries - according to the never-ratified Treaty of Sèvres, Kurdistan, along with Armenia, were to be among them. However, the reconquest of these areas by the forces of Kemal Atatürk (and other pressing issues) caused the Allies to accept the renegotiated Treaty of Lausanne and the borders of the modern Republic of Turkey - leaving the Kurds without a self-ruled region. Other Kurdish areas were assigned to the new British and French mandated states of Iraq and Syria.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurdistan


Hussein and his cousin Chemical Ali employed chemical weapons (considered a weapon of mass destruction) against the Kurds, killing 5,000 and injuring another 11,000.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halabja_poison_gas_attack


So, where are the weapons now? I don’t know and really don’t care. Syria? Buried in the sand? Dismantled for easy reassembly later? Just no longer there? Dunno. The point is that the ruler of a country in the volatile Middle East had used the weapons in his own country. What would prevent him from supplying them to radical Muslims for use against another country? And which country might that be? Israel perhaps? And if you want to see trouble in the Middle East, apply chemical weapons against Israel. I have never seen Israel display a sense of humor when it comes to national security. Have you?


So, now what do we have?


· We have the Saudi Arabian monarchy that appears to be a less than stable caretaker of one third of the world’s oil reserve.

· We have an aggressive Iraq whose leader has used weapons of mass destruction in the past.

· We have Iran as an increasing threat with nuclear development.

· We have Syria facing challenges:

o Syrian economic growth slowed to 1.8% in 2009 as the global economic crisis affected oil prices and the economies of Syria's key export partners and sources of investment. Damascus has implemented modest economic reforms in the past few years, including cutting lending interest rates, opening private banks, consolidating all of the multiple exchange rates, raising prices on some subsidized items, most notably gasoline and cement, and establishing the Damascus Stock Exchange - which was set to begin operations in 2009. In addition, President ASAD signed legislative decrees to encourage corporate ownership reform, and to allow the Central Bank to issue Treasury bills and bonds for government debt. Nevertheless, the economy remains highly controlled by the government. Long-run economic constraints include declining oil production, high unemployment, rising budget deficits, and increasing pressure on water supplies caused by heavy use in agriculture, rapid population growth, industrial expansion, and water pollution.

o https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/sy.html

· And we probably have an administration looking ahead and seeking some form of alternate, dependable oil source to the world.

· And we have Iraq with:

o a LOT of oil reserve:

http://usgovinfo.about.com/library/weekly/aairaqioil.htm

o A ruthless, but weakened dictator who remains a regional threat

o And if we play our cards right might be an avenue for another form of elected government if we kick Hussein out of office.

· And, although the real threat is Saudi Arabia, it would be considered tacky to invade Saudi Arabia since we call them our “friend” and hold hands with the monarchy, at least in public.


Perhaps most importantly, I believe that 9/11 was pivotal to our country’s psyche causing us to be more proactive than reactive to national security. In other words, if some smart guys camping out in a cave in Afghanistan can cook up a simple yet elegant attack such as we experienced on 9/11, maybe we had better start being a little more forceful with our national defense, and national defense includes a ready oil supply. World defense requires a ready oil supply.


If we do it right, a big “if”, then we can end up with an Iraq with an elected form of government (a democracy if you will), friendly towards the United States (since we and our allies put them in power) with a supply of oil more or less under our control compared to the oil supply in Saudi Arabia.


So, do I think we will be leaving Iraq anytime soon?


Are you kidding?


After all the human blood and monetary treasure (in that order) invested in that country?


With a US embassy in Baghdad known as “Fortress America” ten time larger than the next largest US embassy anywhere else in the world?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Embassy,_Baghdad


Besides having access to a decent amount of oil if Saudi Arabia begins to tank, what else does success in Iraq offer?


If we are ultimately successful in Iraq, don’t you think that the highly educated younger generation in Iran will be tired of being second class world citizens and maybe seek a calmer form of government? And if they are incented to promote a calmer form of government, does that help secure Iranian oil? Iranian oil plus Iraqi oil equals Saudi Arabian oil. Do the math.


If we are ultimately successful in Iraq, don’t you think Syria will feel a breeze on its butt and consider being less disruptive in Lebanon and elsewhere?


If we are ultimately successful in Iraq, don’t you think Jordan will feel a lot better about letting Israeli special forces cross its border into Iraq to hunt for Scud missile launch sites?


http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article1120356.ece


If we are ultimately successful in Iraq, won’t Israel feel better about not being the only real democracy in the Middle East?

If we are ultimately successful in Iraq will things in the Middle East finally settle down?


Beats me, but I’m guessing it was considered worth the effort and agony.


Once the dust settles, can we remain friends with the Iraqi government? I’m guessing that would be the case. A friend of mine has been in or around Iraq since the beginning of the current conflict. He swims in the rarified atmosphere of higher management working with the top Iraqi officials. He told me one time that he was speaking with such an Iraqi official and asked the official when he wanted to see the United States leave his country. The reply was never.


Never? our friend asked.


Never. The Iraqi official said he wanted to see, as he sees in Germany, US troops walking down the street with their families, shopping and enjoying the country.


Never is a long time, but our troops have been in Germany and Japan for some time, walking down streets with their families shopping and enjoying the country. The same can come true in Iraq as well, and I suspect we are well on our way to such success.


And the newspapers ask, “Was it worth it?”


Since it is far too soon to ask that question, the real question remains, will it have been worth it?


And to that I say, I simply don’t know. It is far too soon to tell and it will be decades before the answer is finally determined.


But, that is why I think we invaded Iraq.


We did not invade Iraq solely because of weapons of mass destruction. I suspect that such concern offered a simple, more palatable explanation than the one about our friend, Saudi Arabia, being a world threat.


President Bush the younger did not invade Iraq because Saddam Hussein developed a plot to kill President Bush the senior. To those of you who seriously subscribe to such a theory let me be the first to welcome you back to Earth after visiting your home planet.


Life isn’t simple and neither are world politics.


Oil is the lifeblood of the world, despite our desires for renewable energy.


Saudi Arabian oil may no longer be a dependable commodity.


We and our world partners did what we had to do to secure the stability of the world.


That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.